Monkeys log 11 moons and 15 days, after the year end forest frays.
I woke up a little sleepy, a little hungry, quite uneasy.
I was a oodle queasy, after having honey wine.
Stumbling out of the tree, Stomach mad, rumbling at me.
Head bumbling, but not yet grumbling, with bananas on my mind.
And as I felt so unreal, I took a bath with a lemon peal.
And rubbed it on my nose, my toes, even shoes only to find.
It was spoiled, smelling from the night before, soiled while washing a mushroom spore.
That had fallen quite appallingly from a monkey's behind.
Oh the agony! the nauseous rush.
Then suddenly there was a hush.
I woke up dreary weary bushed, on the soggy washing floor.
It seems that I had just passed out, from odor and spoilt lemon grout.
And woke up floating, boating, snorkeling, snoring as in days of yore.
And so I forgot the scene, of night and lemon so unclean.
And slept enjoying the dancing green, that spread beyond the washing floor.
Of elephants playing water guns, of sun-bears having so much fun,
Making little critters run, and dodge the sucker fish they throw.
Oh until the evening came, and my little soggy frame floated to the lagoons northern plane,
(Known as the drying shore.)
And while waiting for the drying, I the Silliest monkey despite trying, counted the clouds a flying,
And deeply began to snore.
That is all (Yawn!) and nothing more.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
The best day of the week! (The Orange hunt)
The Silliest monkey lay in a pile of yellow leaves, in a torn pine needle sprayed tuxedo looking out at the sea, making monkey constellations in the sky and imitating the voice of Apexicus (a distinguishable out-lander Monkey he had just created in his mind) while a lady bug walked across his tummy and tickling it. (Apexicus was hunched in two with armor and a heavy set jaw with a finger poking out through his armored knuckle duster as he picked his nose[All of this framed in stars]) and as the intoxicating fumes of Bee wine entered his nostrils the silliest monkey Grunted "Ape-x want wine" and drifted off into a florid dream where he was being chased by a Large monkey while he himself was inexplicably carrying a large pile of honey.
To explain how the silliest monkey in the forest had ended up in this thoroughly enviable state we need to start at dawn with how he woke up which to put it simply was a surprise to everyone in the forest.
There was a warm penetrating silence in the abode of the silliest monkey in the forest. Dust bunnies (a hyperactive, frivolous breed of shape shifters) flew and frolicked around the room as the banana leaf fan overhead spun at roughly two rotations a minute.
The silliest monkey in the forest lay on the floor of his room precariously dodging the warm rays of the sun that crept through the vine curtain that hung outside the window. Slowly his evasive tactics brought him closer and closer to a colony of dust bunnies in the corner of the room. A short and decisive battle was about to ensue. The silliest little monkey had entered their territory and would be dealt with swiftly. As dust bunny warriors rallied and strategized they finally decided they had no choice but to charge for the only point of weakness they could see. (The silliest monkeys nose) Once within striking distance (aided by a deep breath) they charged!!! wispy weapons poised to strike.
All was silent in the silliest abode in the forest and then... THUNDEROUS SNEEZES Ensued "Eh... WHOOM!! AH CHOOEY AH... CHOOOOO!!" Dust bunnies flew in a frenzy of attack around the silliest monkey and the first wave evacuated his nose post haste and stuck to the wall (Effigies the other dust bunnies would revere as heroes of battle for years to come). The silliest monkey in the forest sat up half awake half still dreaming he was being chased by a strangely warm water monster and wondering what he was doing on the floor of his room in a swirl of dust.
Suddenly "BANG" The door to his cabin opened and in ran "Skink" The silliest monkey's best friend and brother Skink! Skink was a strange furry creature somewhere between a Koala and a monkey, grey all over with a black tuft on his head that ran down his back and long protruding arms and legs. Even the silliest little monkey didn't know how he was his brother, but that never kept them from becoming epic friends.
"WHAAAAT??? your still sleeping on the best day of the week???" said Skink with abrupt disapproval in his voice."The best day of the week?" said the silliest monkey picking the last of the dust bunnies out of his nose and flicking them on the wall where they belong. "It's pine tree blooming season!!!" To which Silly looked at him quizzically (as a dust bunny viciously attacked his ear) "And there is a flock of oranges migrating through the pine tree forest" at this Silly's eyes grew wide and there was an unmistakable sparkle in them.(They both loved oranges) Skink smiled as he saw the look of comprehension dawn on Silly's face. They stared at each other for a moment and then their faces broke into equally mischievous smiles.
As they walked out together in a set of tuxedos they won in a double dare with two snazzy looking Koala bears (who in turn stole them off two nudist penguins.) A passing flock of bees distracted by these two normally 'less than casual' play mates elitist attire flew straight into a thicket of sticky vine and buzzed angrily as they tried to escape. To this the silliest monkey in the forest proceeded to the branch and cut it so they proceeded on their way attached to the vine all in a line. And Silly and Skink headed on their way, coat tails fluttering as they jumped and soared form tree to tree.
As they climbed past evacuating birds and smaller critters. They saw in the distance a sight that most would have run away from, or be very confused by It looked like pine trees were randomly exploding, becoming large green sticks of candy floss. In their midst there seemed to be an orange Halo dancing up and down through the ever changing sun beams flowing through the trees to a rhythmic THUD!
As they approached the trees they realized that they had a rather small problem. The oranges were Bouncing! and each was about the size of a medicine ball a sun bear might use. Meaning that they were quite a bit larger than Silly and Skink, and they would all soar through the air for about 10 seconds, before coming crashing to the ground in a synchronized manner with a resounding THUD! To make matters worse the pine trees were blooming so climbing the trees could unexpectedly fling you off. Top it off with the fact that the edge of the pine forest was at the edge of a cliff that opened out into the outlands meant that this was a recipe for monkey stew.
[Silly and Skink found that it was fun to sit in the pine trees when they were in bloom and chat. Cause suddenly out of nowhere the tree would bloom and fling them into another tree which would bloom and so on... (It made even the most boring discussions a battle for survival) And thus the tuxedos would make excellent protection from bruises and bumps.(Not to mention the shock value of the fashion statement.)]
Skink already had a plan of how to bring the oranges to a usable pace and have a ball doing it. (Pardon the pun) The procedure was simple all they had to do was climb onto the top of the orange while it was in mid air and sit right on the top of the ball.(Not an easy feat) The kinetic energy would then be transferred through the rubbery skin of the orange into whoever was sitting on top of the orange and that individual would be rocketed to the heavens while the orange would lose the momentum required to propel itself and would become vulnerable to attack.
Translation for the the average monkey. They needed to somehow get on top of the orange and use it to get bounced really really high in the air so the orange would be stuck on the ground.
The Silliest monkey stood poised in a pine tree. Below him the unsuspecting orange was ambling along just a few feet away thinking "What a beautiful day for a swim... I wish I brought my trunks, and then laughed to himself when he remembered that he didn't have legs... and couldn't swim." (He was an orange after all, and all fruits are known to be a little nutty, the same way all nuts are known to be a little fruity.) one tree away from Silly, Skink sat poised in a tree suddenly an orange soared next to Silly and he dived at it in a blur of black white and brown, in a haze of citrus and sweaty monkey fur Silly realized he had made it!!! and that now he was sitting on an orange twice his size floating through the air. (strangely the orange thought he was sitting on a monkey, or was it that he'd suddenly grown hair, as these two thoughts occurred at the same time the orange [whose name was Chester] was mildly confused for a moment.) Silly looked over to Skink who was sitting on an orange a few feet away from him with an excited look in his eyes.
They both seemed to float in time and space for a moment as the orange decelerated in it's ascent and reached it's apex and then as soon as this adventure in physics started they were hurtling towards the earth! Monkey ensured his bottom was firmly seated and his head was aiming for a pine tree that had bloomed... (Just before impact the orange wondered whimsically what it would be like to wear a toupee...)
AAAAAAAAAARGH(Monkey) (Bwump) (Phwing) *RRRRoooooll...
It worked!!! Monkeys heart was somewhere between his throat and his frontal lobe all he knew is that it was louder than it had ever been in his life... (or maybe about the same volume as when he tried bungee jumping with sticky vine tied to rubber palm trees.) (A story for another time:) Now all he had to do was aim for a pine tree in bloom and he'd be fine. Monkey soared through the air and made a crash landing into a pine tree. It wasn't too bad... (Subjective) He looked down and saw the orange was stuck on the ground rolling at a slow pace and came to rest against a nearby pine tree. (Chester was confused and was wondering whether now that he had hair and lost it whether he was bald, He was also wondering where he could get a cheap toupee from). Silly on the other hand saw that Skink had pulled it off too and was just flying from the pine tree he landed in cause it had just bloomed. into another one that had already bloomed. it was at this moment that Silly in characteristic fashion smiled and Shouted out "AGAIN!" and climbed within jumping range of another orange.
The festivities continued until sunset Almost all the pine trees had bloomed and though many of the oranges had passed through about 12-30 (No one was really keeping count) had been immobilized by Skink and Silly, and were lying in random locations chatting asking each other where they could obatin these fantastic monkey fur toupees. Silly was about to board his last orange for the day. He was excited but tired, and he didn't notice that he was drifting closer and closer to the cliff, where a spectacular sunset was taking place.
"Apexicus!!!" A famous out-lander monkey who gained a reputation for ambushing critters by Jumping out of trees and landing right next to them. Those would have been the silliest monkey's last words. Monkey Landed on the orange and buttoned himself down for takeoff. In his mind the words "OH BOY! OH BOY!! OH BOY!!!" were repeating over and over as he prepared himself for liftoff. The Orange reached the top of its journey (Strangely this orange whose name was Higgins wasn't thinking too much about a wig but was vehemently commenting on Silly's atrocious tuxedo. Silly who was too busy preparing to be propelled into a tree didn't notice, he also didn't understand orange language which didn't help either.)
Not too far away a lady bug who was kind of mad at the world cause he was a male lady bug was flying after a reconnaissance expedition into the out-lands. He had discovered that there really wasn't much to see. As he approached his home on the pine field he thought sadly of being home with his little green-bug pet "Bosco" He thought a little annoyingly of how boring it was to be a bachelor as he flew along the crest of the cliff and finally flew over the ridge to find that the pine forest suddenly looked like a humongous collection of green popsicles and that he was about to be hit by a flying monkey in a rather shabby looking tuxedo!!!
Silly missed the pine tree on the bounce and was now face to face with the out-lands. He knew the dangers of messing with the out-lands from an earlier encounter but he never imagined that he would meet his end simply by entering it again. As he slowly reached terminal velocity he never realized that he had a passenger who was about to have a life changing experience too. Silly's life flashed before his eyes. He remembered his first banana, his first orange, his first and last taste of dumdum fruit, his first time bungee jumping. (The last time he thought he was going to die) He pondered when he got his heart broken, and how he never got it back from repairs... He then reflected for a moment on how he wished he'd eaten Chester before he left (Never realizing that he suddenly inexplicably knew the oranges name) and how the most memorable moments in his life up-to now reflected food. (It never occurred to him that this was one insanely tall cliff) Somewhere lost in Silly's fur Bosco's owner was simply thinking "Oh dear lord of the jungle! NOT LIKE THIS!" and struggling frantically to get off Silly who after his long day of exploits smelled rather like a slightly rotten banana mushroom and was just as sticky.
Suddenly Silly realized that there was something warm and sticky in his hand and no it wasn't an orange sauce glazed banana fritter fresh out of the oven. (although that would have been nice too) It was the bees attached to the sticky vine who he freed!!! They had seen him falling from their home a bit further off and come to his rescue. They took him home and treated him to their specialty "bee wine". Which contained no alcohol but had enough sugar in it to induce a minor coma (which was far better). As he faded away into his dreams of stars and bees wine, and a large outlander monkey named Apexicus, while Boscos' owner danced on his stomach glad to be alive. The Silliest monkey drifted off into a peaceful sleep completely unaware of the tummy ache that would follow, or that his little brother Skink had fallen asleep in the pine forest after having his fill of oranges, sleeping against Chester who was overjoyed to have hair again.
Resulting in a thoroughly envious happy ending and the beginning of a magnificently wonderful goodnight.
To explain how the silliest monkey in the forest had ended up in this thoroughly enviable state we need to start at dawn with how he woke up which to put it simply was a surprise to everyone in the forest.
There was a warm penetrating silence in the abode of the silliest monkey in the forest. Dust bunnies (a hyperactive, frivolous breed of shape shifters) flew and frolicked around the room as the banana leaf fan overhead spun at roughly two rotations a minute.
The silliest monkey in the forest lay on the floor of his room precariously dodging the warm rays of the sun that crept through the vine curtain that hung outside the window. Slowly his evasive tactics brought him closer and closer to a colony of dust bunnies in the corner of the room. A short and decisive battle was about to ensue. The silliest little monkey had entered their territory and would be dealt with swiftly. As dust bunny warriors rallied and strategized they finally decided they had no choice but to charge for the only point of weakness they could see. (The silliest monkeys nose) Once within striking distance (aided by a deep breath) they charged!!! wispy weapons poised to strike.
All was silent in the silliest abode in the forest and then... THUNDEROUS SNEEZES Ensued "Eh... WHOOM!! AH CHOOEY AH... CHOOOOO!!" Dust bunnies flew in a frenzy of attack around the silliest monkey and the first wave evacuated his nose post haste and stuck to the wall (Effigies the other dust bunnies would revere as heroes of battle for years to come). The silliest monkey in the forest sat up half awake half still dreaming he was being chased by a strangely warm water monster and wondering what he was doing on the floor of his room in a swirl of dust.
Suddenly "BANG" The door to his cabin opened and in ran "Skink" The silliest monkey's best friend and brother Skink! Skink was a strange furry creature somewhere between a Koala and a monkey, grey all over with a black tuft on his head that ran down his back and long protruding arms and legs. Even the silliest little monkey didn't know how he was his brother, but that never kept them from becoming epic friends.
"WHAAAAT??? your still sleeping on the best day of the week???" said Skink with abrupt disapproval in his voice."The best day of the week?" said the silliest monkey picking the last of the dust bunnies out of his nose and flicking them on the wall where they belong. "It's pine tree blooming season!!!" To which Silly looked at him quizzically (as a dust bunny viciously attacked his ear) "And there is a flock of oranges migrating through the pine tree forest" at this Silly's eyes grew wide and there was an unmistakable sparkle in them.(They both loved oranges) Skink smiled as he saw the look of comprehension dawn on Silly's face. They stared at each other for a moment and then their faces broke into equally mischievous smiles.As they walked out together in a set of tuxedos they won in a double dare with two snazzy looking Koala bears (who in turn stole them off two nudist penguins.) A passing flock of bees distracted by these two normally 'less than casual' play mates elitist attire flew straight into a thicket of sticky vine and buzzed angrily as they tried to escape. To this the silliest monkey in the forest proceeded to the branch and cut it so they proceeded on their way attached to the vine all in a line. And Silly and Skink headed on their way, coat tails fluttering as they jumped and soared form tree to tree.
As they climbed past evacuating birds and smaller critters. They saw in the distance a sight that most would have run away from, or be very confused by It looked like pine trees were randomly exploding, becoming large green sticks of candy floss. In their midst there seemed to be an orange Halo dancing up and down through the ever changing sun beams flowing through the trees to a rhythmic THUD!
As they approached the trees they realized that they had a rather small problem. The oranges were Bouncing! and each was about the size of a medicine ball a sun bear might use. Meaning that they were quite a bit larger than Silly and Skink, and they would all soar through the air for about 10 seconds, before coming crashing to the ground in a synchronized manner with a resounding THUD! To make matters worse the pine trees were blooming so climbing the trees could unexpectedly fling you off. Top it off with the fact that the edge of the pine forest was at the edge of a cliff that opened out into the outlands meant that this was a recipe for monkey stew.
[Silly and Skink found that it was fun to sit in the pine trees when they were in bloom and chat. Cause suddenly out of nowhere the tree would bloom and fling them into another tree which would bloom and so on... (It made even the most boring discussions a battle for survival) And thus the tuxedos would make excellent protection from bruises and bumps.(Not to mention the shock value of the fashion statement.)]
Translation for the the average monkey. They needed to somehow get on top of the orange and use it to get bounced really really high in the air so the orange would be stuck on the ground.
The Silliest monkey stood poised in a pine tree. Below him the unsuspecting orange was ambling along just a few feet away thinking "What a beautiful day for a swim... I wish I brought my trunks, and then laughed to himself when he remembered that he didn't have legs... and couldn't swim." (He was an orange after all, and all fruits are known to be a little nutty, the same way all nuts are known to be a little fruity.) one tree away from Silly, Skink sat poised in a tree suddenly an orange soared next to Silly and he dived at it in a blur of black white and brown, in a haze of citrus and sweaty monkey fur Silly realized he had made it!!! and that now he was sitting on an orange twice his size floating through the air. (strangely the orange thought he was sitting on a monkey, or was it that he'd suddenly grown hair, as these two thoughts occurred at the same time the orange [whose name was Chester] was mildly confused for a moment.) Silly looked over to Skink who was sitting on an orange a few feet away from him with an excited look in his eyes.
They both seemed to float in time and space for a moment as the orange decelerated in it's ascent and reached it's apex and then as soon as this adventure in physics started they were hurtling towards the earth! Monkey ensured his bottom was firmly seated and his head was aiming for a pine tree that had bloomed... (Just before impact the orange wondered whimsically what it would be like to wear a toupee...)
AAAAAAAAAARGH(Monkey) (Bwump) (Phwing) *RRRRoooooll...
It worked!!! Monkeys heart was somewhere between his throat and his frontal lobe all he knew is that it was louder than it had ever been in his life... (or maybe about the same volume as when he tried bungee jumping with sticky vine tied to rubber palm trees.) (A story for another time:) Now all he had to do was aim for a pine tree in bloom and he'd be fine. Monkey soared through the air and made a crash landing into a pine tree. It wasn't too bad... (Subjective) He looked down and saw the orange was stuck on the ground rolling at a slow pace and came to rest against a nearby pine tree. (Chester was confused and was wondering whether now that he had hair and lost it whether he was bald, He was also wondering where he could get a cheap toupee from). Silly on the other hand saw that Skink had pulled it off too and was just flying from the pine tree he landed in cause it had just bloomed. into another one that had already bloomed. it was at this moment that Silly in characteristic fashion smiled and Shouted out "AGAIN!" and climbed within jumping range of another orange.
The festivities continued until sunset Almost all the pine trees had bloomed and though many of the oranges had passed through about 12-30 (No one was really keeping count) had been immobilized by Skink and Silly, and were lying in random locations chatting asking each other where they could obatin these fantastic monkey fur toupees. Silly was about to board his last orange for the day. He was excited but tired, and he didn't notice that he was drifting closer and closer to the cliff, where a spectacular sunset was taking place.
"Apexicus!!!" A famous out-lander monkey who gained a reputation for ambushing critters by Jumping out of trees and landing right next to them. Those would have been the silliest monkey's last words. Monkey Landed on the orange and buttoned himself down for takeoff. In his mind the words "OH BOY! OH BOY!! OH BOY!!!" were repeating over and over as he prepared himself for liftoff. The Orange reached the top of its journey (Strangely this orange whose name was Higgins wasn't thinking too much about a wig but was vehemently commenting on Silly's atrocious tuxedo. Silly who was too busy preparing to be propelled into a tree didn't notice, he also didn't understand orange language which didn't help either.)
Not too far away a lady bug who was kind of mad at the world cause he was a male lady bug was flying after a reconnaissance expedition into the out-lands. He had discovered that there really wasn't much to see. As he approached his home on the pine field he thought sadly of being home with his little green-bug pet "Bosco" He thought a little annoyingly of how boring it was to be a bachelor as he flew along the crest of the cliff and finally flew over the ridge to find that the pine forest suddenly looked like a humongous collection of green popsicles and that he was about to be hit by a flying monkey in a rather shabby looking tuxedo!!!
Silly missed the pine tree on the bounce and was now face to face with the out-lands. He knew the dangers of messing with the out-lands from an earlier encounter but he never imagined that he would meet his end simply by entering it again. As he slowly reached terminal velocity he never realized that he had a passenger who was about to have a life changing experience too. Silly's life flashed before his eyes. He remembered his first banana, his first orange, his first and last taste of dumdum fruit, his first time bungee jumping. (The last time he thought he was going to die) He pondered when he got his heart broken, and how he never got it back from repairs... He then reflected for a moment on how he wished he'd eaten Chester before he left (Never realizing that he suddenly inexplicably knew the oranges name) and how the most memorable moments in his life up-to now reflected food. (It never occurred to him that this was one insanely tall cliff) Somewhere lost in Silly's fur Bosco's owner was simply thinking "Oh dear lord of the jungle! NOT LIKE THIS!" and struggling frantically to get off Silly who after his long day of exploits smelled rather like a slightly rotten banana mushroom and was just as sticky.
Suddenly Silly realized that there was something warm and sticky in his hand and no it wasn't an orange sauce glazed banana fritter fresh out of the oven. (although that would have been nice too) It was the bees attached to the sticky vine who he freed!!! They had seen him falling from their home a bit further off and come to his rescue. They took him home and treated him to their specialty "bee wine". Which contained no alcohol but had enough sugar in it to induce a minor coma (which was far better). As he faded away into his dreams of stars and bees wine, and a large outlander monkey named Apexicus, while Boscos' owner danced on his stomach glad to be alive. The Silliest monkey drifted off into a peaceful sleep completely unaware of the tummy ache that would follow, or that his little brother Skink had fallen asleep in the pine forest after having his fill of oranges, sleeping against Chester who was overjoyed to have hair again.
Resulting in a thoroughly envious happy ending and the beginning of a magnificently wonderful goodnight.
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